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Never chase what you want. Elevate your game until what you want chases you.
This is a massive principle I've seen people fail to recognize for many years.
It's easy to get caught up in getting someone's approval, or getting them to "see" you as the person you really are.
The result is fixating on that person or outcome, but at the cost of burning up your mental and emotional capital that could be used to elevate your game until you've hit a level where you'd no longer care because you're attracting new leagues of people into your life.
For every minute you spend thinking "Why doesn't he/she see the value I offer? Why don't they see me for who I am?" you could be spending that hitting a new level.
This is sometimes hard due to sentimentality and being emotionally vulnerable to someone. A beautiful part of yourself sees a beautiful outcome with you coming together, but they may not be able to see that vision the way you do.
Some people need you to be exclusive, hard to get, an asshole, or even dramatic or emotionally abusive to make yourself relevant in their reality.
I don't recommend any of this and think it's horrible, but it's also important to understand why sometimes when you're a good person people may not be responsive to it... look at their previous relationships, not what they 'say' they want, to determine what they objectively respond to.
That being the case, why PERSONALIZE it when someone isn't seeing the vision? It burns your time, weirds them out, and everybody loses.
Instead, put work into YOURSELF and let them figure out what they weren't able to see down the line as you move up the totem pole.
Of course ironically, but then you'll no longer care because you have better things to do and have attracted higher quality people.
You'll probably still hold a place in your heart for the person's approval that you once coveted, but the roles will have been reversed and you will wish them the best.
Any time I've followed this rule my life has improved, any time I've failed to recognize it and became "myopic" I've suffered.
There is SO MUCH opportunity in life.
So many GREAT people.
Keep growing and become the person you're capable of becoming, and you'll eventually attract the right tribe and build your best life.
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