WITH MORE DAYGAME!
The Biggest Mistake Guys Make When They Approach
A Woman On The Street Is Being Apologetic.
by Andy Yosha
This is the most common mistake I see guys make, and it is
the number one reason why a girl won't stop for you on the
Girls in the day are busy, they have stuff to do, and the
LAST thing they want is you BOTHERING them.
Sure, girls are on their way to do something. But a
confident, charming man approaching her is a lot more enticing
than buying something from a shop or getting home from work.
Have you seen the film 'Hitch' with will Smith? What he says
at the start of the film is completely true:
"No woman wakes up thinking, 'God I hope I don't get swept
off my feet today"
But it's this false mindset that a lot of guys have (that
women DON'T want to be stopped) that causes them to approach in a
very apologetic way.
"But what's wrong with being polite?" You might ask.
Well, it's not really about being or not being polite. I'm
not trying to get you to act like a dick or anything.
You've still got to be a 'nice person' and not come across as
a threat. But the problem with approaching a girl on the street
and being overly apologetic, is that the chances are she won't
stop for you to even find out what it is you want. And this isn't
YOUR fault particularly. She hasn't decided that she's not
attracted to you right off the bat. Far from it. She doesn't even
know what you want.
But she still won't stop.
Because she thinks you're a salesman, a promotor or a charity
In my last email to you, I told you that women are used to
being approached in bars and clubs, so when you approach,
nomatter what you say, they always assume you are an idiot with
no game (until proven otherwise).
Well, in the daytime, they aren't use to being approached by
men trying to pick them up - but they ARE used to random people
trying to stop them in the street to sell them something, to ask
for change, to get them to sign up for a charity, or to advertise
a local shop. This happens all the time, especially in busy
cities like London where I'm from.
The most common response from an apologetic daygame approach
is "Sorry I'm busy".
This has left many students disheartened, until I tell them
that she didn't reject them. She rejected who she thought was a
salesman. So with that in mind, you just need to learn exactly
what behaviours are causing you to come across like a salesman,
so you can correct it and start stopping girls effectively.
Well, the biggest thing that is causing you to come across as
a salesman, is being apologetic.
Think about it - a salesman knows he has NOTHING of value to
offer someone on the street. Quite the opposite, he knows he is
there to GET something from the other person. And because of
this, he knows that no-one wants to stop for him. And if you know
that no-one wants to speak to you, it creates some predictable
body language and voice tone effects.
When you are approaching someone who you consider to be
higher value than you, or another way to look at it, when you
deem yourself LOWER value than someone you are approaching - e.g,
someone you are trying to sell something to, your voice tone will
tend to go UP when you open them.
We all do this when we wish to come across as least
threatening as possible. Think how you would address on old lady,
a baby, or a puppy.
Likewise, when we approach someone we assume is higher value,
we automatically want this person to like us. It's the most
natural, and evolutionary predictable response. Be cosying up to
higher value people we stand a greater chance of survival in the
tribe, having greater access to more resources and power.
So when you think you are bothering someone, you will most
likely raise you voice tonality, the same way a salesman would.
So the girl will automatically pigeon hole you as this man, and
respond with her 'knee jerk' response - "Sorry I'm really busy"
In order to navigate this problem, just make sure when you
open the girl, you keep your voice tonality at it's most NATURAL
level. Think how you would address your best mate in the bar if
he had just asked you if you wanted another drink.
So think "Hey excuse me" as if you'd just saw something fall
out of their handbag (ie, you have something VERY valuable to
tell them), rather than "Hey excuse me" as if you are addressing
a celebrity and want an autograph from them. (I hope that makes
sense - it's hard to explain in an email!)
If you think you're bothering someone, you will do one, or
both of these things:
1) You will not block their path
2) You will lower your height as you open
The first one only applies if you try to stop them from the
front, or by running around to the front (which is what me and
Yad recommend). If you do this, but only stand half in front, or
even a bit to the side, it demonstrates that you don't expect
them to stop for you (so you're giving them space to continue
Again, this is the behaviour of a salesman, and will trigger
the automatic salesman response.
If you are stopping a girl in this way, you need to block her
path 100%. Give her lots of space - you don't want her walking
into you, or feeling threatened in any way - but you have to
stand exactly in the direction she is going so you convey that
you are expecting her to want to hear what it is you have to say.
It is this perceived 'assumption' that will make her stop to hear
what you have to say.
She'll think "well he seems pretty sure I'm going to want to
hear this, so I'd better see what he wants"
The second body language problem is more common. I see guys
physically lower themselves as they approach. This is related to
the raising tonality as it conveys weakness, and therefore that
you are not a threat. But weakness isn't something you want to be
conveying when you approach a girl! Weak body language like this
just screams of "Can you spare some change please?".
Make sure you're head is up and you chest is out. You need to
stop her with self assurance, confidence and pride. What you are
doing is a beautiful thing. You are giving her a gift. You are
about to make her day.
So remember, when you approach do it confidently and with
authority, and you will be surprised to find she will stop for
you every time.
And remember to SMILE
I just realised I've been typing for ages and it's gotten
dark outside. Better wrap it up here.
In the next email I'll be taking you guys through the actual
approach process so you'll know exactly what to say when you
approach that beautiful girl walking down the street.